


10 minutes

by Confused_Ghost



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Angst, Attempt at angst, But uh oh, Dark, Heavy Angst, Zim commits the not alive, Zim takes his pak off, im so sorry about this, it might be too late, one-sided relationships, one-sided relationships turned into requited relationships, poor Zim, there was an attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-01-29 19:33:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,268
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21415495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Confused_Ghost/pseuds/Confused_Ghost
Summary: Why was he in so much pain? Why only him? Was it his fault? What was wrong with him? What about him denied him the chance of finding love? What about him made it so impossible to love?Zim blinked away the tears as he realized something, of course.It must be his fault, no? Everywhere he went, chaos followed. Nothing he did succeeded, all of his failed inventions laying in the corner of his askew lab prooved that much. No one would miss him if he were to just….. Disappear.
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim), The Almighty Tallest/Zim
Comments: 119
Kudos: 727





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first story on this site! My first story and its this angst lol, I hope it's good!

*10 minutes left*

To be loved must be something amazing, it had to be a feeling indescribable and immeasurable. It must be; if it wasn’t then why would every living being he had come across seek it out?  
Whether it was platonic love or romantic love, it was love that connected every being in the universe; it was the want to connect to others, to be needed, to feel a part of something…

Love, Zim assumed, must be something akin to euphoria, to love and be loved had to be the most magnificent thing the universe had to offer. Zim had heard stories, seen stories of people falling in love. Seen how it changed them, how it made them happy...

In researching the planet Earth he had come across a plethora of romantic movies, and of course, he had watched some- and he had avidly told himself it was only to get a better understanding of the enemy so he could conquer them easier. Understanding the emotions and thoughts of humans were best portrayed in these romantic movies right? Right. That’s the only reason he watched one, then two, then four, then ten. All for research, and he watched more because the humans’ concept of love was indeed strange, and he needed to figure it out.

To him, love used to be a foreign subject, though he was no stranger to the meaning of love. He had known of its existence, had known it was a more or less a normal feeling to encounter. But he was an invader, an elite irken soldier; he had to play ignorant of the emotion in order to stay vigilant and strong. Thus love became something taboo to him ever since he was thrown into the academy, he was told it was a distraction that no irken should afford falling victim to.

So… why did he feel so alone compared to the other elites? Why did he feel so ostracized? Why was he told that hugging was a sign of weakness when he saw other elites hugging each other after particularly hard missions? Why was he told that spending extra time with the other soldiers was unnecessary when they all partied together anyways? Why did they stray away from him when group missions came up? Why did he always find himself working alone?

Alone… the silence had become something Zim was used to. Something he had grown into expecting, something he told himself he didn’t even notice anymore. Long stretches of absolute silence that left him to the merciless voices in his mind. Was it because he talked so loud that no one wished to speak to him? Was it because he talked so loud that he was discarded to the very quietness he loathed? Or, rather, was it because it was so silent that he began to talk so loud? Raising his voice to block out the noises plaguing his head. Nagging him, berating him, slashing him down with the intent of leaving him as a hollow shell. He didn’t want to be a hollow shell, he didn’t want to disappear without so much as a whisper. It scared him, it terrified him, left him gasping in the middle of the rest cycle in his empty dorm and leaving him halfway charged.

Then he had an idea. If he was loved, would he still have these thoughts? If he knew what it was like to love something would he still feel so empty?

It was somewhere around this time that he found attraction to two of the tallest trainees in his sector of the academy. Red and Purple.

They were everything he wanted, had everything he yearned for. They were tall, popular, successful, admired, smart, they were the epitome of the perfect irken elite. Red was strong and swift, and the trait of leadership came as easy to him as if he were breathing. His demeanor demanded respect and he was able to lead his groups through exercises with ease. Then there was Purple, brazen and risk-taking, able to find the easy way in practically everything he was thrown into. He demanded attention and he was able to lead his assigned groups out of every mission in record times. They were perfect, and Zim had fallen in love.

He knows he shouldn’t have chased after their affections. He knew it was futile to even dream they would return his feelings. But he couldn’t stop himself, he couldn’t stop himself from trying to make himself more appealing. From messing with his pak to alter his height, from taking on borderline hazardous projects when he was moved to the scientist class, to pushing to become an invader. Because if he could give them something, if he could offer something worthwhile, then they would look at him right? They would give him a chance, talk to him, work with him, want to be around him and he wouldn’t have to face that silence anymore.

Now though, now he was in a makeshift house fitting to the Earth sitting in his lair engulfed in the very silence he had tried to escape time and time again. Now he was sitting all by himself starring at a screen of complete static in wait of a call that would never come through.

Here he was, the great Zim, reduced to nothing but tears and frozen limbs. The amazing Zim left as nothing but the hollow shell he had feared to be.

It was ironic, and under any other circumstance, he would be laughing, howling in morbid amusement at how pathetic it all was. In his desperate attempts to avoid such a scenario, he had continuously created the very catalysts to ensure it. It was almost like it was destined to be, like it was his fate to be as alone as he was.

Oh! But he wasn’t alone! No! How could he forget? There was Dib! His mortal enemy turned friend turned….

*7 minutes left*

Zim cried out in despair, throwing his hands on his bloodied head as he hunched into himself. His tears streamed down his eyes with more vigor as he screamed at the floor, his sharp claws piercing through his gloves and stabbing his already wounded head. A self-induced pain to forget, to ignore the pain in his heart. But the memory was already in his head.

It was a regular school day, the infuriating sun was shinning overhead amongst a clear blue sky. He and Dib were sitting in the courtyard of the school below the same tree they had frequented many years before as they talked about almost anything and everything. Zim had revealed so much to Dib, maybe it was too much? He had talked about his feelings for the tallest, about how lonely he was, about how defective he was, about how scared he was. And Dib had listened to him, sympathized with him, comforted him.

For once in his life, Zim felt like he had been cared for. For once in his life Zim had felt like he meant something. Was this love? Was this what it felt like to be loved? He had been so elated that week, full of smiles and laughs. It was the first time that the silence wasn’t suffocating. It was the first time he heard no snarky remarks in his head, no voices, nothing. He felt freed. He wanted more.

It was then Zim realized, was reminded, he was a fool. A blind fool, tricked by the humans kind auburn eyes that glowed in the sun, tricked by the warm comforting smile, tricked by the soothing deep voice, tranced by the sheer stubbornness the Dib had when he was passionate, blind to the stupid endearing awkwardness. Zim was a fool, a stupid irken with even more insane thoughts.

It was that sunny day Zim had made his mistake, his last mistake.

He had told Dib he loved him.

Those wide auburn eyes were burned into his memory, the unadulterated shock on the human’s face at his proclamation. Then came disgust, anger, confusion, and then…. Pity. Out of all the emotions that crossed Dib’s face the one that hit him the most was the pity. Pity from the one person he cared for the most out of everyone he knew. He was used tot he disgust, he was used to the anger, he was used to all negative emotions anyone could inflict on him. But pity? No one had given him pity before. Then before he could even take back his words the human had fled the scene. Dib had run away from him like everyone else had.

Of course, Zim was furious! Who wouldn’t be? He had opened up to Dib, had revealed his most vulnerable parts to the human, and that was how Dib decided to act? So it was justified for Zim to fight him after weeks of hiding right? It was justified for Zim to scream at him, to claw at him, to make the human hurt as much as he made Zim hurt.

But why did he feel so much shame? Why had he felt so guilty when Dib had yelled back at him? Why did Dib say those words to him?

Monster

Traitor

Stupid alien

Idiot

Reptile

Lizard

Defect

*5 minutes left*

Why did those words hurt so much? Why didn’t he deny those insults?

Why couldn’t he deny those insults?

Zim had fallen in love three times in his life. Admiration for his Red, admiration for Purple, and… love for Dib.

Love was supposed to be something great. Love was supposed to be freeing. Love was supposed to make him feel better.

So why was he in so much pain? Why only him? Was it his fault? What was wrong with him? What about him denied him the chance of finding love? What about him made it so impossible to love? Why was it so difficult for him compared to everyone else?

Zim blinked away the tears as he realized something, of course.

It must be his fault, no? Everywhere he went, chaos followed. Nothing he did succeeded, all of his failed inventions laying in the corner of his askew lab prooved that much. No one would miss him if he were to just….. Disappear.

He stood from his chair suddenly, and almost methodically traced the wired hanging down from the ceiling and into his pak. He should be scared about this, should be horrified to even dream of going through with this. Yet here he stood, starring at his disconnected and hanging pak.

*1 minutes left*

“...Computer?” He called, weak voice bouncing off the metal walls.

“Yes, my master?”

“Has my box of apologies reached the membrane household yet?”

“Yes, Gir and minimoose just arrived at the humans home approximately five minutes ago, and according to my scannings he hasn’t been turned away yet.”

“Good… good.” Zim nodded slowly. “Ensure that Gir understands his new mission, he is to stay with the Dib as his new minion”

“Yes, Master.”

“And Computer?”

“What now?” Zim huffed a weak laugh at the snarky remark of his A.I. as he pressed the red button of his control panel.

-Computer shutting off permanently in 3-

*3 seconds remaining.*

-2-

*2 seconds remaining*

-1-

“Thank you for everything.”

*1 second remaining-*

In his last second of life Zim had felt fear and regret. He didn't want to go yet! What was he thinking? Wait!-

~

Red frowned as he sucked on the straw of his soda, a weird sinking feeling pooling in his gut. What was this weird feeling? Why did he suddenly feel so sad? Looking to his left he found the same conflicted look mirrored on his lavender companion.

“Red… why do I suddenly feel so- so-”

“Weird?”

“Yeah, why do I feel so weird?” Purple grimaced making a face as he sank into the couch they were currently lounging on.

“I don't know... ” Red whispered back, he felt like he needed to do something. Like he needed to check up on someone. But who? Who was worthy of his time and emotions like this? He shrugged, trying his best to wave off the sinking feeling haunting him, must be nothing.

~

Dib frowned at the poorly wrapped gift basket sitting innocently atop the coffee table in front of him, still untouched. He flinched when Gir barrelled past him screaming nonsensical exclamations with minimoose trailing behind him enthusiastically.

Of course Zim would send his minions over to his house to mess with him, he thought they were still in their stage of ignoring one another’s existence?

Dib yelped when something hard hit his head, sending him to his carpeted floor with a throbbing headache.

“MARY SMELLS FUNNY!” Gir yelled from his place latched on the human’s head, shrill voice loud in Dib’s ear.

“Get off me Gir!” Dib growled sitting up slowly as he tried to power through the throbbing pain in his head.

“Okayyy!” The sir unit giggled dementedly before unlatching himself and stealing Dib’s earlier spot on the couch. “Im gonna watch Tv now!”

And before Dib could even grab for the remote, to keep it out of the robots reach, the Tv turned on with a hum as Girs favorite awful cartoon appeared on screen.

Dib rolled his eyes, to tired to ask how that was even possible, and stood up. He straightened up before grabbing the gift basket, rolling his shoulders as he made his way to the kitchen. He had made it to the trashcan, foot already pressing down on the pedal of the bin, before he noticed the letter hastily tapped to the bottom of the basket.

He starred at it for a few minutes, feeling the overwhelming need to read it. Then he remembered how Zim attacked him last time and he dropped the basket into the trash bin without another thought.

Zim can talk to him himself when he would inevitably come by later to pick up his minions. Why would he write a letter?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's the continuation! An insight of Dib's and the Tallest's feelings before the reveal of what happened to Zim. Hope its good TTvTT

Dib felt his patience wearing thin as Gir continuously poked his arm, three days have passed. Three whole days. And Zim hasn’t come by to collect his minions, the gift basket hasn’t exploded, and he was pretty sure he was being ghosted. Now, they were already in a fight- granted- but still Zim could at least text him some kind of reply as to why he sent a basket with Gir and minimoose. 

He slouched further into the couch as he debated going to the little gremlins house himself. It could be a trap, it probably was a trap, _ it definitely was a trap _ . 

Zim was probably waiting for him to go to his base to unleash some new scheme of his. Which, in Dib’s opinion, was completely messed up. He was stupid for feeling bad for the small alien, after everything Zim was still Zim. An arrogant, manipulative, narcissistic, bastard of a living being.

First the alien says he loves him,  _ loves  _ him, and Dib was floored. He had felt so many emotions that day. Was Zim messing with him? Why would Zim love him of all people? Did he love Zim? Then, something occurred to him, did Zim even understand what love was..? 

Now, he admits running off probably wasn’t the best choice, he probably should’ve stayed and talked to Zim, but he was scared! He was confused! He needed time to think. So that’s what he did. He avoided Zim because he was scared. Who wouldn’t be?

Your enemy- for practically your whole childhood- becomes your friend just recently. You both immediately share some personal information and feeling because- what the hell right? You realize your both more similar than you realize and you think your becoming good friends. You’re starting to trust your old enemy. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, your enemy turned friend proclaims their love for you. That's a lot to take in so suddenly, right? It was normal to be thrown off right?

So him hiding from Zim for weeks was normal. He was fairly certain Zim would understand. It was a normal reaction after all. But he was wrong. After what felt like a month, Zim appeared at his house uninvited and attacked him.  _ Attacked him! _

After that, everything made sense for Dib. Zim had lied to him, fooled him to throw him off and defeat him while he was distracted! It all made sense! Zim probably thought Dib would’ve readily accepted his feelings and got mad when he didn't!

So Dib said a few choice words to the alien, feeling both smug for not falling into the trap and a weird sense of betrayal. He was actually beginning to think of Zim as a friend, what a foolish mistake  _ that  _ would’ve been! 

So….So… why did he feel so bad after he said all of that stuff to Zim? He was only saying the truth, telling Zim how much of a horrible being he really was. But the look on Zim’s face…. That broken look, it made Dib sick. Those fiery magenta eyes became so dull, and just like that Zim was gone as fast as he came. 

It’s been a few weeks after that and Dib has heard nothing of the green alien. Zim hasn’t been coming to skool anymore and he hasn’t heard anything out of the ordinary in the neighborhood or the news. 

Naturally, Dib assumed he was being ignored again until Zim bounced back. Which, he yelped as Gir jabbed him in the stomach before running off laughing, he assumed was now. It was such a Zim thing to do, sending Gir and minimoose over to antagonize him.

Dib scoffed as he turned to face the robot, “So, im guessing Zim is expecting me at his base, right?”

“I dunnooo!” Gir drawled, reaching up to grab the remote Dib had placed on a high place specifically so Gir couldn’t reach it.

“Nyah.” Minimoose tailed on, laying down on the other side of the couch. 

“He didn’t tell you?” Dib parroted in shock.

Zim always had a knack for revealing his plans to his minions, to which Dib was able to figure out just by asking Gir a simple question. For Zim to not tell Minimoose or Gir his plan was uncharacteristic, and strange.

“Not a single thing?” He pushed, sitting up straighter to better stare at the robot.

“Nope!” Gir laughed, stretching out his arm and grabbing the remote. “Wait! He did! He said that you’re our master now! Hi master!” He grinned, turning to face Dib with a salute.

“What- What?” Dib sputtered not believing his ears. “Why would he do that?”

“Nyah.”

“No, he wouldn’t just give up like that.”

“Nyah?”

“Yes I wanted to win, but.. But.” Dib stood up, throwing his hands into his air. “Not like  _ this _ . This is so anti-climatic! So boring! So- not like Zim!” He stressed throwing his hands out emphatically. 

“Nyah?”

“I- I dont know… Maybe I actually would’ve preferred him to be planning something diabolical.” Dib sighed.

“Nyah?”

“Of course I believe he would! Zim is evil! He lied to me! The little bastard even tried to manipulate my feelings! He said he loved me!” Dib barked out a hollow laugh, brows furrowing as he remembered that day. “I hate him!”

“Nyah.”

“I am not lying!”

“Nyah.”

Dib faltered. “He… he actually liked me..?”

“Nyah.”

Dib felt his heart sink as Minimoose explained. Zim actually loved him? Zim? Oh shit. He really did pull an asshole move didn't he? 

But why would Zim send his minions over if he wasn’t actually… Dibs eyes widened, the letter! Zim wrote him a letter!

He jumped over the couch as he raced to the kitchen. Was the letter still there? It wasn’t garbage day already was it? He fell to his knees as he dug into the bin, shifting through all the trash searching for the small pink envelope. 

Where was it? Where?

“Dib? What are you doing?”

Said boy jolted, whipping around to see Gaz standing at the kitchen doorway with a raised brow. 

“I’m looking for a pink letter I accidentally threw out.”

“You do realize garbage day was yesterday… right?” Gaz drawled, making her way to the table, putting down her game slave in favor of grabbing a bowl from the cabinets.

“What?” Dib cried out. “No.. nonono.. I have to- I have to go,  _ now _ .” He sputtered, struggling to stand before he raced out to the door.

Zim couldn’t of just given up like  _ that  _ right? Right?

~

  
  


“That was all the invader’s my Tallest, the annual check up is complete.”

Purple sighed in relief as he rolled his shoulders. Finally, after hours of standing and asking useless questions, they were  _ done.  _ “ _ Good! _ I’m going to go sit down.”

“Yeah, me too. My back is  _ killing  _ me.” Red groaned following his co-leader to the couch. “I can’t believe invader Dez really felt the need to show us  _ all  _ of his 100 and something blue prints.”

“I know right? Poor guy doesn’t know he’s actually been exiled!” Purple laughed.

“Yeah!” Red grinned with a chuckle, stopping short when a familiar pang hit his chest. “Yeah…” his grin morphed into a frown,  _ what was that feeling? _

“DAMNIT! I feel sad all of a sudden again! Why?” Purple cried out falling back onto the couch with a huff. “I thought this feeling went away already!”

“Me too.” The ruby-eyed irken agreed, taking his seat beside his pouting companion.

“Wait… exiled. Hey who's that one irken we exiled before Dez? He was small, pink eyes? I think he was pretty cute too if I remember correctly..” Purple trailed off, humming in thought before his eyes widened and he suddenly started choking.

“ _ Zim _ .” Red whispered in realization, “Zim! How could we forget Zim?”

“I- I don't know.” Purple wheezed out hitting his chest. “Did.. did we see him during inspection?”

“No, no we didn't.” Red frowned.

“That doesn’t sound right. Zim always calls us, everyday, even without us asking!” Purple frowned, feeling something weird in his chest.

“You’re saying that like you miss him.” Red accused, also trying to ignore that tightening feeling in his chest.

“What? I dont miss that little bastard! He was loud! Annoying! Persistent! Small! So very small Red! He was tiny! So very tiny and cute-” Purple stopped himself with a flushed face.

“You called him cute!” Red pointed, forcing out a laugh. “Twice! Do you  _ like  _ him?”

“Shut up! It was a mistake.” Purple growled crossing his arms.

“Was it? What about Zim do you like, hm? I get that you like how small he is, but what else? His insanity? His loyalty? How he worships us? His passion? His starry pink eyes? The way he laughs? How he never ceases to make me laugh….” Red gapped as he trailed off.

“You like him too!” Purple screamed out, pointing at Red as he laughed victoriously. “Ha! I’m not the only one! We both…. We both like Zim…” He ended in a whisper, laughter slipping into quiet chuckles until it was gone. 

They met each other’s eyes. 

“Uh, um, maybe we should call in on him yeah? See what he’s up to.” Purple coughed, standing.

“I agree, lets see what stupid scenario he got into this time.” Red nodded.

Zim wouldn’t mind them calling in suddenly right?

“Hey! Put a call through to Invader Zim!” Purple demanded, waving a hand to one of the drones.

“Are- Are you sure my Tallest? Zim? You want to call  _ Zim? _ ” The drone stuttered. 

“Yes! Just call him before I throw you out of the airlock!” The lavender clothed irken growled impatiently.

“Yes my Tallest! Right away!”

Purple sighed, grabbing a drink from Bobs head tray, “Zim wouldn’t of questioned me.” He groused. 

“What? Zim would have questioned you, what are you talking about?” Red quirked.

“No, he always did what I asked of him no questions asked.” 

“He always questioned me though…” Red whispered in shock.

“Guess we know who his favorite is then.” Purple grinned smugly.

“Oh shut up Pur-”

“My Tallest! There is no signal of Invader Zim on Earth! It says he…. He has been terminated…”

Both Tallest froze.

“What?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be about what happened after they all find out! Stay tuned!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the end! I really hope it's good! It's the last chapter so I tried my best! Thank you all for the support and kindness you have given this story!

348 steps.

4 to 7 minutes depending on how fast he wanted to be.

That’s how long it took to make it to Zim’s little green house down the block in their community. 

There were 27 trees, around 5 houses with broken sprinklers that zim loathed, and 10 houses that had pets that Gir loved to annoy. That was all the memorable things Dib counted on the way to Zim’s base. It was only 20 houses away.

So why did it feel like it was taking forever? Why did it feel like Dib wasn’t running fast enough? Why did the world seem to slow down as much as it did? 

The part that grinded at him was how serene the neighborhood was, how it was so quiet and calm. Completely converse to how Dib was feeling. 

Coupled with the heavy unease that pooled in his gut, the ominous tranquility that blanketed the down weighed down on him relentlessly. How could the world look so peaceful? So at ease? How can everything be fine when the well being of Zim was at stake?

Dib felt himself stumble as his throat constricted in unfettered worry. Guilt and bile climbing up from his stomach.

Zim was loud. He was dogged and rude. He was borderline narcissistic and ignorant. Zim was a powerhouse of repressed energy- so it’s impossible for him to just- just-  _ disappear _ without so much as a huge commotion. 

If Zim were to go out, Dib always imagined it would be through a huge long and epic battle. That Zim would remain strong and resilient, even when they both knew Dib had the upper hand now; with Zims outdated and worn weapons it used to be fairly easy for Dib to out do the little alien with his father’s more capable tech. Moreover, Zim would be taken down by his hand- by his…. hand.

A broken gasp of air entered Dib’s lungs as his nails dug into his palms. Anger and frustration swelled in his chest as he pushed his sore legs to move faster. Zim giving up… it- it was his fault wasn’t it?

Zim was taken down by his own hands, his filthy hands. Without a awesome battle to determine wit and strength, without giving Zim a  _ fighting  _ chance, he had defeated his enemy; and he couldn’t feel more sick about it.

How could he have been so blind? How could he have ignored those clear signs? He bit back a sob as his vision became blurry. He should have talked it out with Zim. He should have said something. He shouldn’t of ran away.

Of course Zim didn’t- wouldn’t understand love or feelings! The whole feelings thing was probably alien to Zim, coming from a repressed and strict empire. Hell! He  _ was  _ an alien! Dib should’ve taken the time to explain. He should have- he should have….. Dib bit his lip,  _ why didn’t he do anything? _

He was ripped from his panicked thoughts as he stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk. Cursing as he tried to maintain balance while keeping his speed. 

When he turned the corner of the block he felt his heart leap to his throat upon sight of the quirky small green home fitted neatly between two normal houses.

“Please..” he breathed, fighting to speak through struggling lungs. “Please…” he whined, tears breaking free finally as he rushed past motionless gnomes laying upon Zims front yard; he tried hard to ignore the nagging feeling of anxiety clawing at his back because,  _ Zim never turned off his gnomes. _

Dib ripped the door open- breaking the hinges, eyes wide in search as he scanned the living room. The lights were off, casting the space in a dark shadow with only the pink tainted light to sparsely illuminate the floor.

With held breath he felt his body go rigid at all the crumpled small pink paper covering the purple couch and floor.

Shakily, he approached one of the crumpled pieces, picking it up as though it were a fragile piece of glass.

_ ‘Dear Dib,  _

_ Understandably, my actions towards you may have been beyond normal  _ _ <strike>Earthan</strike> _ _ human behavior—“ _

The letter ended there and Dib reached for another paper almost lifelessly.

_ ‘ _ <strike> _ Dearest Dib, _ </strike>

<strike> _ I do not apologize for loving—‘ _ </strike>

Dib bit his lip as he frantically looked for another letter,desperately snatching one of the many left on the messy coffee table.

_ ‘Dear Dib, _

_ I apologize for the actions I have bestowed upon you. My understanding of normal human conduct is still flawed. Through research and observing, I have come to realize my actions to you were  _ ** _unsettling and disturbing_ ** _ .’ _

Dib gripped the paper harder once he realized that ‘unsettling’ and ‘disturbing’ were both written deeper than the other words. With the sting of bile at the back of his throat he continued reading.

_ ‘ So,  _ ** _please _ ** _ accept my apology. Take a picture of this letter if you must, it will be the only and  _ ** _last _ ** _ time you’ll ever see the Great Zim apologizing.  _

_ I would also like to thank you for being a formidable arch nemesis, you truly were a worthy opponent- and your skills only grew with time Dib. Earth should be happy to have someone as capable as you as it’s guardian.  _

_ Moreover, you must be confused to find Gir and Mini moose at your front door,  _ ** _hopefully Gir delivers this successfully._ ** _ I shall grace you with the answer you seek. They are at your service from henceforth.  _

_ They are  _ _ great  _ _ not as incompetent as they seem, so you should be thankful to have them on your side now, you are their new master. Why you ask? I can imagine your tiny brain is having trouble trying to figure it out. Shall I give you a few seconds? With such a large head you would think that your brain would be in accomodation to the size. Dib, I am  _ <strike> _ going to  _ ** _shut dow_ ** _ n. I am going to _ ** _ go away_ ** </strike> _ <strike> for a while. I am going to--.</strike> _ _ Dib I would like to say  _ ** _goodbye_ ** _ . And thank ygw-’ _

Dib feel to his knees, the air leaving his lungs as he felt his limbs go numb. 

The rest of the letter is unintelligible, already dried wet stains smudging the lead. He dropped the wrinkled piece of paper and brought his knees to his chest, his lungs reclaiming air as he started to hyperventilate. 

He thought he saw one particular smudge look like ‘i love you’ but he was too afraid to look again.

What has he done?

  
  


~

  
  


“My tallest! There is nothing wrong with the control panel! It says Irken Zim is gone-”

“Shut up! Reload the whole database if you have to! Something has to be wrong!” Purple spat, cutting of the shaking drone with a slam of his hands on another drones panel.

“But- But my tallest that would take hours! We would be shutting off all of our technology- rendering us completely helpless!” The drone gapped, yelping when Purple slapped him. 

“Just do it before I terminate  _ you. You insubordina--” _

“Purple! You know we can’t reload the database! Are you crazy?” Red growled, grabbing his friends shoulder roughly, yanking him away from the chittering drone.

“Red- what- _That _**_shitty _**_thing is saying Zim is _**_terminated._** Do you know what that means _Red?”_ Purple bit out, slapping the offending hand off of his stiff shoulder.

“Yes I-”

“It means Zim is  _ dead.  _ **Dead ** Red. That fucking machine is saying Zim is possibly dead and you don’t even looked fazed!” Purple accused, shoving Red in emphasis.

Ruby eyes widened before narrowing dangerously themselves. “I am fazed Purple! Hell, I’m feeling a lot of things-”

“Gee, doesnt  _ look  _ like it.”

“- but right now _we.” _he gestured at the both of them with a hardened glare.”- also have the lives of the _entire_ _empire _to think about too. We can't do anything irrational or we’ll jeopardize both Zim and our people-”

“ _ Ha!  _ You’re joking!” Purple shook his head with a venomous smile. “You don't care about Zim at all huh? Well,  _ Red,  _ I do.” Purple hissed, turning to the drone he was talking to prior, “Start the reboot.”

“No! Don’t start the reboot! Purple get your head out of your ass! You’re being stupid.” Red growled, waving his hand dismissively towards the drone to cancel the demand of his lavender companion.

“No.  _ You’re _ being stupid Red!”

Red’s brows furrowed as he stumbled for words, his brain and pak trying to keep up on understanding the situation. “You **_just _**found out you love- No! Not even love! You just found out you _liked _Zim. Literally _right now._ Your completely forgot about him before this! And **This?” **Red gestured towards Purple emphatically. “-is going _too_ _far_.”

Purple opened his mouth ready to retort when Red began talking again. “You know what? You’ve  _ always  _ been like this. Since we were young! You always got attached to everything and anything  _ way  _ too easily! You don't actually love him Purple! You’re just getting obsessed like you always do.” Red huffed, shaking his head as he pushed a hand to his forehead in exasperation.

“no...rue.” Purple whispered, making Red click his tongue.

“ _ What _ ? Speak up for Irk sake-”

“It’s true! I loved Zim since we were back in the academy  _ Red.  _ Forgive me for being blindsided by my repressed emotions! _ ”  _ Purple barked out, whipping around and advancing over to Red with an ugly snarl. “I liked him from the beginning! Before we were being evaluated for becoming Tallests! But you-  _ you. _ ” Purple growled and clenched his fist. 

“I  _ what? Spit it out.”  _ Red snarled back, squaring his shoulders defensively.

“-He admired you Red.” Purple hissed out, turning his head to the floor. “He liked you  _ so  _ much… but you ostracized him.. even though  _ you  _ liked him too...”

“What-! I did  _ not  _ like Zim back then-”

“Yes! _Yes you did Red_!” Purple snapped. “Even now you’re too prideful and scared to admit it!” He threw his arms out in a wild gesture towards his maroon companion. “That’s the kind of attitude that cut us off from him! Because _you_ thought he was too small to be associated with us. Because he was_ too_ chaotic to be around!” Purple scoffed waving his hands around dramatically. “I had to hide my feelings for Irk knows how long until I _thought _they had died off!” Purple ended in a sharp hollow laugh. “You were- and still are- a _coward_. _All_ _Mighty Tallest Red_, nothing more than a fucking smeet. _Fuck you _Red. _I’m_ going to make sure he’s okay” Purple turned back around pointing at the drone. “**Reboot-”**

Purple was cut off as a fist collided with his cheek, turning his head in an awkward angle abruptly and leaving him speechless.

“You did  _ not  _ just-”

“You need to learn how to shut your mouth  _ Tallest Purple.” _ Red hissed baring his teeth.

“Touch me  _ one  _ more time Red and I promise you that I will rip your antennae out of your ugly head.” Purple bit out, raising a hand to nurture the fresh bruise accumulating on his cheek.

“Oh? I’d like to see you try Purple. Who won in all of our old battles again? Oh that’s right! It was  _ me. _ ” Red spat, wincing when he was shoved harshly in the chest, sending him to the hard ground.

“And who pushed their feelings away until they became a fucking pompous jerk?” Purple glowered.

“You?” Red wheezed.

“Oh,  _ thats it-” _

_ “ _ My- My Tallest! We found a log Irken Zim had sent to the massive before his termination! Shall I open it?” A drone stuttered out, moving to stand (albeit shakingly) to garner the attention of the two aggressive leaders.

Like clock work both tallests froze in place, wide ruby eyes staring into wide violet as they slowly processed the information.

“From Zim?” There was a hopeful yet anxious pause. “Play it now.” Purple ordered, floating away from Red to stand closer to the lowering screen; Red following wordlessly.

All tension evaporated into thin air the second the small green irken appeared on screen.

‘Greetings my Tallest,’ 

Zim was on screen, seemingly healthy and relaxed. His calm appearance both a blessing and a cursed tease to both tallests. If he looked fine before his termination, than he wasn't killed by the humans. What happened to Zim? How was he terminated if not through a fight?

‘I understand that I haven’t called in for a very long while, 8 years since you’ve assigned -’ Zim paused as a troubled expression covered his features, he coughed and continued.

‘-  _ banished  _ me to Earth to be exact.’ He ended breathlessly, berry eyes becoming glossy as he went quiet, hands nervously clenching and unclenching. ‘So- erm- you’re probably wondering why I am calling? I shall make it quick since I know you two aren't very….’ Again Zim paused, hissing in a delicate breath as he closed his eyes for a second, before opening them with an alarmingly hollow gaze.

‘I understand that you haven’t been very fond of me. And- and- I understand why. I was.. Insubordinate... Foolish. Ignorant. Weak. Reckless.’ He stopped to have a small chuckle.

‘In all, I wasn’t a good invader… nor was I a good irken. So- so I understand my exile now.’ Zim nodded slowly, his gaze slowly getting more distant before an unnerving forced smile encompassed his green face. ‘Forgive me for trailing off. You both are probably busy! I just wanted to- to... ‘ he paused to wipe at his eyes aggressively. ‘I wanted to say that..uh- thank you for giving me chance after chance. You both were always my tallest- still are my tallest! I loved you both and wish the empire a prosperous and fulfilling future!’ Zim saluted into the camera with a solemn smile. ‘Irken Zim signing off,’

The main deck fell into a hush. Red had excused himself from the room quietly, and Purple stood frozen. Zim's message was clear.

_ ‘-permanently _ .’

  
  


~

  
  


When Dib entered the lab, after struggling to fit into the fake garbage can, he felt empty. After reading some more discarded letters, he only felt more frustration and unbridled guilt.

He had cried for a good few minutes, screaming and cursing. He felt so useless, so stupid, so blind. Every word and letter Zim wrote with his poor penmanship only served to twist the knife already lodged in his heart. The implications of a permanent goodbye sending a sour taste to Dib’s mouth, he knew what it meant. He knew what Zim was hinting at, but he didn’t want to believe it. 

If only he had just stayed out that day. If only he had heard Zim out ... if only he weren’t such a coward. 

Then, when Dib remembered that Zim had an underground base, a new, yet fragile, spark of hope erupted within him. What if Zim was still down there? Breathing.  _ Alive _ .

He ventured through the tunnels, stopping in every which room to peek in, the want to see Zim and the fear to see Zim clashing inside of him so heard that a headache began to form; and coupled by the darkness he was beginning to feel hopeless.

There were no lights on anymore, leaving him to only the soft light of his phone, and the underground base had an eerie silence. No buzzing of machines working, no hums of Gir to bounce around the walls, no screaming of Zim explaining his next plan.

It was… quiet. The echoes of his rushed footsteps were the only sound Dib could hear.

But Dib was still latching on to that waning spark of hope flickering within himself. Maybe Zim was still alive? Maybe he wasn’t too late? Maybe Zim was still-

Dib paused staring in abject horror at the sight before him.

There, lying motionless on the ground, laid Zim. His exposed and horrifyingly bare back facing Dib in a mocking manner until he finally broke. He had dropped his phone as he screamed. 

**“No! No!” ** Dib rambled, scurrying to Zim’s side frantically, his vision going blurry as he stared down at his unresponsive alien. “Zim wake up. Where- where’s your pak?” 

The sound of his dooming heart beat thrumming in his ears as he looked around, squinting in the dark desperately. “All you need is your pak okay? You’ll be okay Zim. You’ll be okay.” Dib continued, his grasp tightening on Zim as he moved to stand.

Once his eyes locked on a figure hanging from the ceiling he reached out, feeling relief once he touched the cold familiar metal of Zim’s pak. He pulled on it, fighting against the wires, yet to no avail.

“Come on.” He gritted, grasping blindly around the Pak as an attempt to find where the eires where plugged in. “ _ Come on!”  _ Dib growled feeling his anxiety begin to spill over.

“Just give me a second Zim okay? I’ll get your pak!” Dib called out, his voice bouncing off the metal walls. “Why did you detach your pak like this huh?” He laughed panickingly. “You know that without it- without it-.....” Dib yanked on the device one last time before letting go with a defeated scream. 

“Why Zim? Why? You  _ promised.  _ You  _ promised  _ you would conquer Earth!” Dib cried out, falling to his knees as he grasped his hair roughly. “Why did you do it? You know without your pak-!  _ You’ll die.”  _ He whispered out in the end breathless, turning to face the small aliens body once more.

Dib gathered Zim into his arms, the feeling of the aliens alarmingly cool skin ironically burning his own as he felt emotions surge through him. 

“Im sorry.” He sobbed out, quiet and weak. “Im so sorry Zim.”

The echo of his own broken voice was his only answer as he squeezed his alien tighter against himself.

“Please. Please.  _ Please.”  _ Dib continued through hiccups and harsh gasps. _ “Please come back.” _

  
  


~

  
  


Gir hummed happily as he waited for Dib on the couch. Gaz was sitting next to him playing on her game slave and minimoose was resting on the adjacent seat as his favorite cartoon played on the T.V.

Dib had been acting strange. And so had his master. And talking about his master- was Dib his master now? That didn’t feel right though. 

Master was master. And being a product of the irken empire he was inherently loyal to his assigned invader afterall.

But, where was master? 

Gir frowned as he recalled the last he had seen the green alien. 

Zim had been slaving away all day and night yesterday writing strange letters, when Gir offered to just record what Zim wanted to say the invader refused with a dismissive wave of the hand. 

‘It has to be personal and perfect for Dib Gir. I don’t have the strength to speak to him anyways… he wouldn’t want to hear my voice’ He remembered Zim saying as he got started on the next letter.

Which was strange too. But writing letters looked fun. 

Maybe Gir should write Zim a letter too. That would make his master happy right? 

Gir smiled as he hopped off the couch in search for his needed materials.

“Where are you going?” Gaz asked, raising a brow but not tearing her gaze away from her game.

“Imma write master a letter! He gonna be sooooo happy when he reads it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thats the end! I sincerely hope it was good!!


End file.
